I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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