So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize