It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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