There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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