google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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