You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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