i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
