something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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