NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
