no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
