I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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