Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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