I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
