i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
