If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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