i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
