there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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