I wannas sexs uuuuu
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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