She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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