If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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