I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
