i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
