She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Alive.
So much puke
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
