Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
