When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
