could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize