My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
