i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
