R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize