Plan B is the new Plan A
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
