is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
