there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
