As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
