She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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