Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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