this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
