I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He passed out mid-signature
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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