it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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