somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
