One girl and one boy is just not enough.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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