i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize