its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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