You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
