Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's shark week go big or go home
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
