We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
