The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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