Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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