Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
