The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize