Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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