She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
