i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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