carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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