My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i think i just lost a toe
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
