Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
