then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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