is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
