I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My vagina just clenched in fear
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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