Only a mothe r could love this liver
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
