I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i think i just lost a toe
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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