I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
