She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize