I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
