The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
