Pants 0. Shit 1.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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