Fuck appropriateness.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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