I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize