so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
