the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
