Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
