people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
