Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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