No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize