nut hugger
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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