So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
