there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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